In the summer of 2018, my dad died. Twice.

The first time, he was alone, slumped over the wheel of his truck. A swarm of good Samaritans revived him. One smashed through the glass of his passenger door. Several others hoisted him onto the sidewalk. A nursing student skilled in CPR restored his breathing. Emergency workers shocked his heart back to life and sped him to the hospital. 

Dad was almost eighty-three, his health declining. His rescuers—a group of average people passing by—managed an uncommon feat. Even an experienced emergency room team would have struggled to do it. 

Some of our family believed God had started a miracle in Dad’s rescue. Soon he would regain consciousness, and the miracle would be complete. Why else would God have allowed it? 

I wasn’t so sure. Two weeks earlier, I had talked with my dad about his heart condition. He didn’t want procedures to extend his life. “If the Lord wants to take me, it’s my time,” he had said. 

God isn’t predictable. I too wondered what he was doing. Dad might die before I reached him. Or he might wake up and go home a changed man. As I tossed my clothes into a suitcase, I braced for whatever awaited on the other side of my plane ride.

To keep reading this and other essays, grab a copy of my second book, When Losses Become Legacies: Memoirs on Grief, God, and Glory. Thanks for supporting my work!

  1. I enjoyed this essay so much! It was like being there with you day after day feeling everything that you felt. Thank you for sharing with us! Love, Cindy Serago Chestnut

  2. Kristina, your essay took me back to those days so vividly. It’s so rare for someone to remember, document and share the intimate thoughts and feelings of such a difficult time. You have a special gift. Know that your parents are smiling and so proud of the beautiful wife, mother, and author you have become. Much love, Nouna

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