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Archive for the Motherhood Category

Dads and Motherless Daughters

I’ve had my dad for 44 years. Because my mom’s been gone for 29 of those years, that length of time has been important to me in unique ways. He’s not perfect. But he’s been present and available for my entire life. He’s had to be Dad

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Six True Sentences

Ernest Hemingway wrote his so-called six true sentences while living in Paris in the 1920s, and  dubbed them Paris 1922. His first wife, Hadley, lost the originals, but he later recreated them. Hemingway was a journalist before he wrote fiction. If you look closely, you can see

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How Journalism Can Defuse the Shame of Mental Illness

Coverage of maternal mental health seems to be increasing.   I was surprised to find this story while flipping through the latest issue of Vogue magazine. That a publication dedicated to couture and beauty has delved into a gritty topic beyond the comfort zone of at least

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Finding God in My Postpartum Fire

*This originally appeared on Risen Motherhood on Jan. 18, 2018. **Trigger alert: This article contains references to intrusive images, and may not be suitable for some suffering with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. The birth of our babies—especially our first—is supposed to be magical. We expect a

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Pregnancy and Infant Loss: Grieving Well

Losing a baby is a tragedy. Whether it’s during pregnancy, or from unexpected complications after the baby is born–the significant grief and pain need to be addressed. If not, they’ll likely resurface, wreaking havoc on our mental health. Definitions and statistics vary for pregnancy loss. The Mayo

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Hitch Your Wagon to a Star

During a recent conversation with my kids, I encouraged them to reach for challenges, even for things that seem unattainable. I shared with them one of my favorite quotes, from Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Hitch your wagon to a star.” Sometimes you won’t reach your star, I said,

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On Loving, and Losing

My family and I lost two friends recently. For the sake of protecting their identities, I’ll call them Cheryl and Paul. They died rather young—Cheryl after a drawn-out battle with cancer, and Paul went suddenly, his heart failing while he slept. Both losses spurred stinging tears and

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Retroactive Grief

Over the past few weeks I’ve watched friends stride through different rites of passage. Some sent their child to away-camp for the first time. Others released their youngest into the realm of college. I’ve not reached either pinnacle yet. But I recognize them to be fraught with

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Fleeing Breast Cancer, I Found a Miracle

I’ve known the month of September to be a wily foe. Perhaps her cunning is a mere protesting of the confusion that comes with bearing two seasons at once. Still, I haven’t liked her much. It was during her days that I lost my mom to breast

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Why I Said Yes to Cancer-Preventing Surgery

It’s late June, a golden-blue day wrapped in soft, honeyed rustles hinting at untold promises and glories of the summer at hand. My small children are gliding into a friend’s home, their goodbye kisses and laughter floating through tousles of hair. The sparkles fade to dust, swallowed

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