Posts Tagged parenting

Dads and Motherless Daughters

I’ve had my dad for 44 years. Because my mom’s been gone for 29 of those years, that length of time has been important to me in unique ways. He’s not perfect. But he’s been present and available for my entire life. He’s had to be Dad

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Pregnancy and Infant Loss: Grieving Well

Losing a baby is a tragedy. Whether it’s during pregnancy, or from unexpected complications after the baby is born–the significant grief and pain need to be addressed. If not, they’ll likely resurface, wreaking havoc on our mental health. Definitions and statistics vary for pregnancy loss. The Mayo

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When Postpartum Packs a Punch

If you’re a mom or a dad, you’ve known the otherworldly time of pregnancy, childbirth, and just beyond. Whether a new parent or a veteran, you understand that the postpartum season is incomparable. It brings the gift of new life, the fun of seeing your family grow,

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Hitch Your Wagon to a Star

During a recent conversation with my kids, I encouraged them to reach for challenges, even for things that seem unattainable. I shared with them one of my favorite quotes, from Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Hitch your wagon to a star.” Sometimes you won’t reach your star, I said,

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On Being a Mom Without a Mom

My mom died of breast cancer when I was 15. At first, I missed the short-term comforts she brought. No more Chinese-takeout dinners on Friday. No more special trips to Canada or Florida. Soon I missed the lack of love and attention. I grew to believe that

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I Don’t Want to Have it All. I Just Want Variety.

A few weeks ago I told my 4-year-old son Noah I was returning to work full-time. He and my daughter Syma, who’s almost 2, were sparring and fussing, and I was spent. “Mommy will get a job in the city. I’ll be gone all day. Just home

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Clover’s Toys

My 4-year-old son Noah has discovered how functional his pants are. He can, for instance, jam Legos into the pockets as he darts out to school in the morning. He can shove even larger things down his pant legs. I noticed Noah’s revelation after a recent trip

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When my first child was born, I was unqualified for the job. If there were a test, I would’ve failed. Knowing my ineptitude, doctors and nurses would’ve snatched Noah and shooed me out of the hospital. A hormonal haze clouded me into thinking I did fail. What

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Feeling Guilty for What I’m Not

One of my goals for the new year is to read more e-books. Not just books–stacks of them line my desk, nightstand, bathroom. I even borrow my children’s library books. Bedtime stories are balm to a mother’s day-worn soul. Holding books, seeing and smelling them; this is

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Uncomfortably Numb

Mothering two young children is sometimes like novocaine. It numbs my mind and makes me talk funny. On the toughest days, crafting a coherent sentence can be challenging. Not to mention holding a conversation about something complicated, like education policy. Once upon a lifetime ago, writing and editing stories about

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