Ten years ago today we lost my brother Jim. At forty-seven, he was in his prime. I lament the unfinished promise of his life, and all that it held for his two sons. I mourn for my sister’s children and my own, for all they lost in
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My brother, Jim, would be fifty-four today. We lost him to suicide seven years ago. Like many before, he lost a battle with depression. As of 2018*, suicide was the tenth leading cause of death in the United States. That works out to an average of one
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Today is World Mental Health Day. Every October 10, the World Health Organization asks those working in the mental-health arena to talk about what we do, and discuss ways we can improve and expand mental-health care for everyone, everywhere. This year, the WHO is focused on suicide
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About a year after my brother, Jim, ended his life, one of his friends asked me to speak to the mother of a young woman who had attempted suicide. Jim’s friend volunteers at the Ronald McDonald House in Cleveland, which offers families housing at little or no
Read more →This morning I’m sipping tea from my wedding china: the sleek-and-elegant Noel Alabaster, designed by the late Kate Spade. News outlets were quick to tell us she ended her life. It’s easy, in the wake of suicide, to look for explanations and labels, to tie things up
Read more →Suicide is one of the most uncomfortable topics around. If we say we lost someone to suicide, it might be perceived as a weakness, a selfish act, a stain on their character. Not so if they died from cancer or heart disease. But like other ailments, suicide is uninvited. Suicide and
Read more →Dear Jim, Three years ago this summer, you warred with the cruelest of enemies–depression. He was a sinister thief of your thoughts. He tried to make you unrecognizable even to those of us who knew you best. He made it difficult for you to eat, sleep, and
Read more →In the days after my brother’s suicide, my cousin asked me how often I found myself sighing. She said, “When I’m too tired to cry, I sigh. I sigh a lot.” After the exchange I noticed my own frequent sighs. According to one study, sighing serves as
Read more →Suicide is an earthquake. Sudden, jolting and catastrophic, it ruptures the lives of those it leaves behind. The aftershocks ripple into subsequent generations. We spend years navigating our emotional landscapes, seismically realigned by chasms of guilt, confusion and regret. We build bridges when we share our grief,
Read more →Six weeks before my brother died, I had a dream. The ultra-realistic sort, where you stir swearing it happened. I’d gone to visit my sister, Lisa, in Texas. Her house had morphed into what looked like my grandmother’s old home in Ohio–a blurring of lines characteristic of
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