This morning I’m sipping tea from my wedding china: the sleek-and-elegant Noel Alabaster, designed by the late Kate Spade.

News outlets were quick to tell us she ended her life.

It’s easy, in the wake of suicide, to look for explanations and labels, to tie things up into tidy boxes. It helps those of us left behind try to make sense of things. We strive to keep our understanding of life pinned to a level playing field.

It’s easy to call suicide a selfish act.

It’s far less easy to confront the pain and anguish involved when someone takes his or her life. But we must. We must move through the grief. We must come to terms with the undesirable. We must realize there are no easy answers when it comes to suicide, severe depression, and mental illness.

We owe it to ourselves–to the rising generations–not to write off suicide as selfish.

May Kate Spade’s life and legacy endure as a blessing to us all.

For more on why suicide isn’t selfish, read a piece I wrote shortly after I lost my brother to suicide.

If you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts, please ask for help. If you can’t share with close friends, family, or a therapist, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, at 1-800-273-8255.

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